Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Is It a He or a She? Only Your Imperial Federal Government Knows For Sure

I would like to make a motion that all satire within Amerika's borders be eliminated. It is no longer necessary as the reality of the United Socialist States of Amerika has become so ridiculous that it defies all logic. Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" might be seen as a serious reform pamphlet today rather than a scathing satire.

The Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee has included this juicy little nugget in their version of health care "reform": the Secretary of Health and Human Services (currently space ranger Kathleen Sebelius) would have the authority and responsibility to develop criteria for defining gender. Yep, Amerika is now so brain dead and helpless that we cannot tell Adam from Eve. We need Big Brother to define the most basic distinctive characteristic of human beings (or any animal lifeform).

We have mainstreamed Amerika's growing freakshow. We do not need to change the understandings of thousands of years of human existence to accomodate the confused, the metally ill, and the bizarre. They may be befuzzled about their identity, but I am not.

Edgycater has a little hint for anyone confused about their gender: pull down your La Cage Aux Folles underoos and hold in your jelly roll: if you see an outie you are a buck and if you see an innie you are a doe. Any questions? You are welcome. Feel free to share this wisdom with your confused Leftist-Liberal-Progressive-Socialist friends if they are experiencing gender confusion.

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